


Engaging Conversations

by echoflowertea



Series: Living [18]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Reader Is Not Frisk, reader is female
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7291015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoflowertea/pseuds/echoflowertea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and the skelebros throw a party. Did you really think that it would go smoothly?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Engaging Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> i update this series **tuesdays and fridays**!
> 
> **a huge shout out to deliriyum for donating!!!** it makes me super happy to know that someone out there thinks my writing is cool enough to warrant that! i can't thank you enough sweetness!!!

“babe, stop pacin’.”

“I can’t. They should be here by now.” You kneeled on the couch cushion and leaned far over to the window, gazing out of it with your eyes narrowed. Your stomach was in knots.

“y’know, i don’t mind the view, but i don’t want you obsessin’ over this. they’ll be here.”

You turned back to him and scowled. You knew that your clock was early and that they still had about an hour to show up on time, but it didn’t help at all. Not when you were this nervous.

You, Sans and Papyrus were throwing Undyne and Alphys an engagement party. Something official to celebrate their huge decision. Between the wedding planning and their work schedules, you didn’t have time to sit down as a family and actually let them know how happy you were. Given that Toriel was preparing for another school year, the skelebros and you took it upon yourselves to host it at their house instead.

You hopped off the furniture and headed toward the kitchen, rubbing at your eyes as you tromped along the soft carpet. “I should probably set the table.”

“everythin’s set already.”

“Yeah, but I mean, what if some of the glasses are cloudy? I don’t want them to be grossed out when we make the toast.”

Sans laughed. You knew he was totally amused by your inner peril, and that just irritated you more than anything. Papyrus would be home soon and he would know exactly what the place needed to make sure everyone had a good time. But you grabbed the sponge from the sink and went to scrubbing along the countertops, trying to make the place spotless for your guests.

It wasn’t that you were trying to impress them. This wasn’t even your house. But you really wanted those two adorable fiancées to have a good time. They were so stressed out with the big changes in their lives and deserved some time to relax. If that meant cooking some of their favorite dishes and dedicating one night to them, then you would do it gladly.

You actually wanted to have a much bigger gathering, only because it seemed like a waste not to. But the both of them agreed that it would be way too big of an undertaking in terms of catering and entertainment. They said you could just save it for the wedding. So a casual party between your little group was enough.

“hey. c’mere for a sec.”

“No. You’re not distracting me.” You huffed and straightened the place setters for about the thousandth time. “Don’t even try it.”

“nah, i’m serious. just gotta tell you somethin’ real quick.”

You sighed in exasperation and tore yourself away. Sans crooked a finger at you with a wink. You knew he was fucking with you and that this wasn’t a good use of your time, but you followed him anyway.

“What?”

He led you up the stairs. Along the walls were photos of all of you together. What was it with the skelebros and taking pictures, anyway? Sans carried some of you in his wallet, Papyrus had a bunch in his car. And while the living room was filled with original paintings and various things they liked, you were the main object of their affection for this section of the house. It would’ve been creepy if it was anyone else, but it was just something you’d see in anyone’s place. Some of you and Sans, some of you and Papyrus, some of all three of you together.

“like it? my bro said you would be embarrassed, but put it up anyway.”

“He knows me really well.”

Sans stepped backwards into his room. You crossed the threshold and he made a reach for your hand. Taking you to the center where you could spot your figure in a full-length mirror across the way. You immediately flinched at your reflection and crossed your arms, trying to make your stomach look as small as possible.

“so, uh…you wearin’ that tonight?”

Fuck. You looked down at your attire. This was definitely not as nice as you would’ve liked. You rushed over after work and hadn’t even changed out of your uniform.

“Agh…” You put your face in your hands. “I need to run home and grab something. What was I thinking?”

Sans shook his head and headed over to his dresser. You weren’t sure how he could find anything with so many piles of clothes everywhere. He dug around in the drawers and tossed some socks your way, which you dodged with ease because they sort of soared in the air and flopped to the ground unceremoniously. After a few seconds of muttering to himself, he finally found what he was looking for.

He handed you a box covered in brown wrapping paper.

“Um. What is this?”

“heh, why don’t you open it and find out?”

You squinted at it and the weight in your palms finally dawned on you. “Is this…did you get me a present?”

“yeah…” He glanced off to the side, the beginnings of a blush creeping along his cheekbones. “i mean. that’s what boyfriends do.”

“It is. But I never thought…” That was really fucking adorable. While you and Sans had been dating for some time now, you never expected anything like this. In fact, receiving things made you really uncomfortable because you always felt obligated to return it tenfold. Him surprising you like this was going to ruin you. “I’m a little afraid.”

“might not be good. but i uh, tried.”

The fact that he was this insecure only confirmed what you thought in the first place. He did this for your approval and to make you happy. You would be damned if you shit all over that because of your own eccentricities. So you grabbed the edge of paper and tore it away, shedding the tattered remains all over his floor. Not that he would care. The box itself was something plain and made of cardboard, with the flaps tucked in instead of taped, so you were able to pry them apart pretty easily.

It was a dress.

You flicked it out to get a better look at it. Checked the tag briefly to confirm that it was in your size. Something chic and fun, just casual enough not to intimidate everyone else at the party tonight. A color you loved and would look great on you.

An eager skeleton waited for your approval, his bashful expression a clear indicator that he’d done his research. You weren’t even sure what to say at this point.

“Sans, this is…” You paused and ran your fingers over the material, your chest tight. “This is amazing.”

“heh, well…you might wanna try it on before you lay on the smooches.” He grinned. “pretty sure i picked the right one, but y’never know, some labels run kinda small and…”

You put it over your front and gazed at your reflection in the mirror. “Okay. I, um…I’ll just head to the bathroom and be right back.”

“whoa.” He stopped you before you could exit the room. How did he even get in front of the door so fast? “i don’t wanna risk you doubtin’ yourself. so…i wanted to see it.”

“Okay, I’ll step out and show you?”

“nah, i…” He stammered. “i brought this mirror in from my bro’s room so i could get a good look without headin’ in there when he wasn’t home. so.”

You finally understood what he was getting at. “Oh. So you…want me to…change? Like…in here?”

“heh, when you put it that way, it sounds real creepy, doesn’t it.”

“No! I mean. No. It’s not like you’ve…you’ve seen me in my bikini before, and that was pretty much like a bra and panties. Which is what I’m wearing right now, underneath my uniform. I…I mean, it’s kind of embarrassing because it’s not the same context. But…maybe if you just turn your back while I take my clothes off…”

He looked somewhat disappointed. “yeah, makes sense.”

“Wait. Do you…want to actually…see me put it on?”

“kind of, yeah.”

“Why?”

He tugged at his collar. Get uncomfortable, Sans. You weren’t going to just go along with this unless he had a good reason. “heh. kinda…putting me on the spot there, babe.”

“It’s kind of a big deal.”

“i know. i just…” He swallowed. “s’been a while. never get to see you outta your clothes. wanted to…refresh my memory. you’re uh, you’ve uh…you’ve got a killer body.”

You weren’t going to argue with him. You weren’t gonna have this conversation again. “So you just…what, want to admire me?”

He flopped backwards on his bed, thoroughly spent. “ok. i get it. you don’t want to.”

“I’m gonna do this for you. But we’ve got to lay down some ground rules.” You couldn’t believe those words came out of your mouth. “First off, absolutely no touching. Because…this is already a lot and I don’t think I can handle both.”

“maybe down the line?” he asked, hopeful. He still hadn’t risen from his minor tantrum yet.

“Yes. Of course.” That went without saying because you…wanted that. You knew he did. And it was hard to admit before, because you were so used to just shrugging off any notion of it, but things had changed. You had changed somewhat. Adapted to things because someone was patient enough. The monster in front of you who was crushed that he wouldn’t be able to catch a glimpse of you? Yeah. That was one of the sources of this.

“ok.” He shifted into a sitting position. “what else?”

“If I…can’t handle it. Then please just give me a second.”

“ok.”

“I think that’s it.” You reached for the hem of your shirt, thumbing it. “Um. This first?”

“whatever you want, babe.” He leaned forward on his thighs, eyes wide and alight. He looked like you’d just told him that he discovered a new element. “i’ll just be quiet. over here.”

Phew. Okay. You grabbed the end of your shirt and paused just enough to calm your heart in your ribcage. You dragged it over your stomach and lifted it high above your head, pulling it over and easing your arms through. It felt like it was going on for a thousand years, and it didn’t help that you had such a perceptive audience to go with it.

After smoothing down your hair and peeling the cloth away, You readjusted the straps of your bra and tucked your breasts back into a more fitting position against the padded cups. You didn’t dare look at the mirror, but you just knew that there was a full view of your stomach spilling over your pants. The rolls of flesh that strained against the back strap, the thickness of your arms in full view.

Sans coughed and you lifted your gaze to him. You knew how fragile you probably looked.

“if that’s your limit, i can leave.”

You weren’t going to do that. This was for the good of both of you. “Do you…” You had to deflect this somehow. Get the attention off the elephant in the room. “Do you have to make those shapes with your eyes?”

“what?”

“They’re hearts.”

He brought his hands up and covered them, laughing sheepishly. “sorry, didn’t realize i was doin’ it. guess it’s _plain to_ _see_ that i got a hell of a _heart on_ for ya, huh.”

“UGH. That’s it. Get out,” you joked, reaching down for your button instead. “Ready for round two?”

You wiggled your pants from your hips to your thighs and past your knees. You stepped out and readjusted the band of your underwear, thankful that you always wore something cute to work. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it did have lace. And you could tell from his twitching fingers that he wanted to know exactly how it felt against his bones.

“well…damn.”

“Hmm?” You plucked the dress from its resting place on top of his bureau.

“this is better than i thought it’d be.” His grin grew even wider. “you’re gonna drive me fuckin’ crazy.”

“Pfft. Okay.” The dress was a slip on, so you could just go through the motions quickly. “Um…that it? You satisfied?”

“nah. give me one more sec.” He raked his eyes from your calves all the way up to your chest, lingering on your stomach before his gaze drifted to your thighs. “hoo boy.”

“Oh my god, that’s my quota.”

You hurriedly stuffed yourself into the dress, not even realizing how well it glided over your figure. As soon as everything was tucked into place and you smoothed out the fabric, you stood there and recognized that it fit. And it fit fucking well. Moving closer to the mirror, you turned your body this way and that, glancing at yourself from all angles. Pinching it near your backside so you could get a better view, dipping your back so that it curved more dramatically, pushing your chest out.

“You did good,” you laughed giddily. “This is perfect.”

“i know.”

You crossed the room and, without warning, pinned him to the bed. He hiked the dress up on your thighs and immediately grabbed the flesh there, kneading his fingers into it.

“Cheater. I said no touching.” You kissed him anyway.

“what, this? this ain’t touchin’. this is light groping. big difference.”

You both heard the door open downstairs. You pulled yourself away from him and stuffed your work clothes in his completely empty hamper, rushing out of the room. Sans followed you at his own leisurely pace, barely able to stifle the ridiculous grin on his face and his dreamlike expression.

“WOWIE!!! IS THAT A NEW DRESS?”

“Yep, Sans got it for me.”

“I AM IMPRESSED! I HAD NO IDEA MY BROTHER WOULD MAKE SUCH AN INSPIRED DECISION. I WILL NEED TO PREPARE FOR EVERYONE’S ARRIVAL. WOULD YOU KEEP ME COMPANY?”

“Yeah, sure!”

You hummed and doodled in a sketchbook, lying in Papyrus’ bed while he got dressed. Nothing had changed there. Before you were dating, he just trusted you enough not to look. The same applied now that you were together. He was so busy picking out something for the party that he hadn’t even bothered to tidy up his room.

“HMM, THIS IS DIFFICULT TO SAY. SHOULD I GO WITH YELLOW OR BLUE? BOTH COLORS REPRESENT OUR FRIENDS, AND BOTH LOOK FANTASTIC ON ME. BUT I JUST DON’T KNOW. DATEMATE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

He held up the ties for emphasis. You glanced up and nearly choked. He didn’t even have any pants on. He was just dressed in a long button-down shirt that ended at his thigh bones. You didn’t want to make things weird, so you avoided staring and did your best to focus entirely on both articles of clothing he held up.

“Why not go with green? Best of both worlds.”

“YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. WHICH I KNEW ALREADY, BECAUSE I AM DATING YOU.” He stuffed them both back in the drawer and let out a noise of approval. “I WAS SHOWN HOW TO TIE THIS AT MUFFET’S, SO I THINK I HAVE IT MEMORIZED. BUT YOU’LL TELL ME IF I MESS UP, WON’T YOU?”

Papyrus was looking downright illegal in his outfit by the time he was finished. He’d rolled up his sleeves and put on a vest over the shirt, slacks neatly ironed and dress shoes fastened. You found yourself staring at him when he finally made a move to look at himself in the mirror, which Sans had returned…somehow?

By the time you came downstairs, everyone else had finally arrived. Toriel and her kids, Undyne and Alphys. You were a little embarrassed you hadn’t been there to greet them, but no one seemed to care.

“Nice threads, punk!” Undyne crowed, hanging out on the arm of the couch. “What were you two doing up there, huh? Huh?”

“D-don’t mind her.” Alphys smiled thinly. “She’s just e-embarrassed because the card that you sent us made her tear up, so she’s trying to act t-tough.”

“OH MY GOD BABE??? I TOLD YOU THAT WAS CONFIDENTIAL!!!”

Everyone was starving, so you didn’t waste any time in helping Papyrus lug out the dishes from the kitchen. Sans didn’t bother joining you. He snoozed at his seat at the table and wouldn’t budge whenever someone spoke to him, save for a small laugh whenever Toriel made a pun. You were pretty sure she just did it to get a reaction out of him.

“YES, EVERYTHING HAS ITS PLACE ON THE TABLE. POSITIONED FOR THE MOST EFFICIENT MEAL OF THE DAY: DINNER!!!”

You pecked him on the cheek and he nearly dropped the baking dish.

“WH…WHAT WAS THAT FOR?”

“You’re too cute.”

“NO. DATEMATE. IF YOU DO THIS TO ME, I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HOLD BACK MY CUDDLES AND SMOOCHES. YOU WILL BE OVERWHELMED WITH INTENSE LOVE FOR ME AND YOU WON’T ENJOY THIS DELICIOUS FOOD I MADE.”

You cackled and followed him out, carrying a huge bottle of monster liquor. It wasn’t anything that would put anybody under the table, but this was a cause for celebration. You filled up everyone’s glasses to the halfway point. Well, except for Alphys, who could knock that stuff back no problem. Surprisingly, Undyne was the lightweight; any kind of liquid in her system besides water sort of messed with her, and she was so easy to get drunk that she only had a small sippy cup of it to drink after she’d eaten.

The kids had their own room down the hall for all their art needs. It was chaotic. Coloring books and broken crayons, painting cups and water. Toriel fed them before they came over, only because the entire group was going through some kind of picky phase where they refused to consume anything but their mom’s cooking. It was as adorable as it was annoying. That was where they would be for the rest of the night. Toriel had an app on her phone with a nanny cam of sorts in case they needed her.

“I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST.”

Everyone raised their glasses.

“UNDYNE, ALPHYS. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR UPCOMING NUPTIALS!!! WE ARE ALL VERY HAPPY FOR YOU.”

“Fufufufu, thanks, Papyrus!” Undyne beamed, clenching her cup so tightly it was about to shatter. “You better prepare yourself for the wedding! If you don’t play your cards right, you might be outshined by the entertainment we’ve got planned!!!”

“WHAT? WHO COULD OUTDO THE GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT PAPYRUS?”

Toriel was uncharacteristically quiet so far. You hoped she was doing okay. Maybe she was feeling awkward because she was the only one at the table not in a romantic relationship? She poked at her food with major disinterest, fork scraping against the plate and her ears drooping.

“Um, Tori, you want a refill?” Yeah, great idea. Just sit there and fill her up with booze to get her to loosen up. That couldn’t backfire at all. “Or maybe if you’re not feeling well, we can try some healing magic on you…”

“Oh.” She blinked rapidly, pulled from her deep thought. “No, I am sorry. I am just distracted. I have something to get off my chest.”

“What’s up?”

“I feel as though I must say this to you because it pertains to you and your relationship with both Sans and Papyrus.”

Alphys choked on her mouthful of her drink. Undyne was downright devious in the way she leaned forward on her elbows, intrigued by the way that the conversation had turned. Anything to shift the attention from her, since she was adorably shy about her and Alphys being in the spotlight. Affairs of the heart were something that she still sort of battled with.

“Um…”

“TORIEL??? IS THIS SOMETHING BAD? HAVE I DONE SOMETHING WRONG?”

She set her silverware down and wiped at her mouth with her napkin. “It was something I saw.”

Your stomach dropped. Fuck. What? You glanced over at the both of them for any traces of guilt on their face. The way that she looked…she seemed like she wanted to drop a bombshell. Like a, ‘your boyfriends are cheating on you!’ type of bomb. Had you misunderstood your relationship? Did they think that you were okay with them seeing people on the side? Because that wasn’t what you signed up for. You weren’t good with that. If that made you a terrible fucking person, so be it. And you would make everyone uncomfortable by tearing up at the table if that was the case, especially because of the incredible time you’d been having.

“When Sans first told me that he had finally confessed his feelings to you, after years of very intense and…almost _obsessive_ pining—”

“tori.”

Undyne guffawed and slammed the rest of her drink, much to her fiancée’s chagrin. She was gonna get hammered now and she didn’t seem to care.

“—I was ecstatic for him. And when Papyrus expressed the same, it was double the joy! But I did not want to make any faux pas, so I tried to do some research of my own.”

That sounded harmless enough.

“And I decided to type in what I thought was the appropriate term in the search bar! I looked up ‘threesomes’, and it directed me to some very interesting material. All of it was exclusively with humans, but there were very detailed and extraordinary videos that explained quite a bit!”

You followed Undyne’s lead. Oh my fucking god. This was not happening. Alphys handed you the whole bottle and you sucked it down greedily, your eyes burning at the familiar rush of magic down your throat.

“THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS,” Undyne sobbed, crying from how hard she was laughing. She banged her fists on the table and nearly fell over backwards in her chair.

“But they were all a little too over-the-top. Naturally I thought that perhaps there might be more relevant information out there. Perhaps something I could pass on to you! So I have bookmarked several sites that I would like you to review depicting a much more accurate picture of monster and human relationships. See?”

She flashed the screen at you and you blanched. Yup. That was a, uh. That was a human. Being eaten out by a monster. They were both clearly enjoying themselves.

Alphys put her hands over her face and stammered out something incomprehensible. Undyne’s eye widened so much that you were sure she was going to hurt herself. Her jaw dropped and she scabbed for the phone, wanting a closer look. Toriel was more than happy to oblige her request, a toothy smile now spread on her face.

“TORIEL. THAT IS PORNOGRAPHY??? AT THE TABLE?!” Papyrus screeched.

“Yes, it is!” She blinked. “Are we not all adults here? This is for educational purposes.”

“welp, this was a nice get together, but i gotta be anywhere but here. see ya.” Sans made a move to stand up, only to have her place a hand between him and the path to the front door. She caged him in. Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

“No you don’t, Sans. This concerns you as well. Have you done any research on human anatomy outside of human-to-human contact? You would be quite surprised at what is out there.”

You finally slumped down in defeat and rested your forehead on the table. Undyne had clicked on a video now. The sounds of slurping and moans just sounded off from her side. She watched with a mixture of genuine interest and mild disgust. Yeah, that was about right. Scandalous material ripe for the taking. Why was this happening?!

After a few more agonizing seconds, she turned it off. Looked at Alphys with a grin. “You gonna tell ‘em? Or am I?”

“Undyne. NO.” You wanted to reach across the table and slap your hand over her mouth. You would’ve, too, if you weren’t afraid she would chomp on it so you’d release her.

“Wait, you gotta hear this.”

Alphys was barely conscious at this point. She couldn’t function after so much secondhand embarrassment hitting her in the face. So there was no way she was going to stop Undyne from making this any worse.

“So, last week, Alphys and I were on a trip to these crazy hot springs. It was an engagement gift from her co-workers at the university. And one night, when we were there, PAPYRUS calls me up on my cell phone!!!”

Papyrus tugged at his collar. He was sweating. Oh, no. You didn’t like where this was going at all. You had to save him from this.

“P-PERHAPS WE CAN DISCUSS THIS ANOTHER TIME?”

“You’re not getting out of this one! It’s FUNNY.” She shot him a look that made him physically recoil. “He said it was urgent, that he had critical information he needed from me and Alphys! I knew that it was something BIG, but what he said next was…” She howled. “He wanted to know what color UNDERWEAR you wore!!!”

Why?! WHY???

“THIS IS HORRIBLE. I DO NOT LIKE THIS DINNER.” Papyrus buried his face in his hands and steam poured out of his skull. He was going to overheat and pass out.

Undyne was barely able to hold it together. She was hysterical at this point. “He said that he went to bed and had this DREAM about you, one that had him all hot and BOTHERED, but he was worried that it wasn’t accurate and needed to know for sure so he could write it down in his JOURNAL.”

That was…a lot to take in. What did you even focus on here? The fact that Papyrus had a sex dream? That he was asking Alphys and Undyne about what you looked like under your clothes? Or that he wanted to make sure he remembered said dream in great detail by taking notes on it? It didn’t help that his entire body now a bright shade of red.

“I-I told him I wasn’t sure, b-because she changes them every day?”

“YEAH! What kind of question is that, anyway? Did you mean to ask what her favorite color was?”

“she’s wearin’ green today,” Sans chimed. Fucking. Asshole.

“WHAT?” Papyrus shot up and gazed at you, scandalized. “IS THAT WHY YOU CHOSE THAT AS THE COLOR OF MY TIE? SO WE WOULD MATCH BOTH UPSTAIRS AND DOWN?”

You coughed into your hand and sucked down your glass, drowning out the rest of them with your noisy gulping.

“Oh! The last time we went, she picked up several different ones! Flowers, rainbows, unicorns! Those are the ones she wears every day and around the house. During work she puts on the very nice ones, they are mostly made of lace and come in various colors. Her favorite as of late has been blue. I think it is because it reminds her of your magic. There is even one that is made almost entirely of string, it is fascinating.”

Toriel. Traitor. You weren’t sure what else you could do to make it so you couldn’t contribute to this incredibly invasive conversation.

“S-so, what was your dream about, Papyrus? Undyne never said.” Alphys had her phone on the table, her finger twitching near the keyboard. She was going to type this up for her erotic friend fiction, you just knew it. You repeatedly asked her not to do it, but she just made up some excuse to cover up the fact that she was very much still into it.

Papyrus fumbled with his hands, the spotlight on him again. “W-WELL…WE WERE STAR-CROSSED LOVERS! I, THE HUMBLE FOOD CRITIC, AND HER, THE DAUGHTER OF A VERY FAMOUS RESTAURANT OWNER! I DON’T REMEMBER MUCH OF THE DETAILS—”

“Liar,” Undyne hissed, eye(s) alight with amusement.

“—BUT I DO KNOW THAT AT ONE POINT, HER CLOTHES WERE SUDDENLY MADE OF SPAGHETTI AND THEY FELL OFF? LEAVING HER IN NOTHING BUT UNDERWEAR?”

What was this. Why were you still here? It didn’t help that Sans was just sitting there _laughing_ at you.

“Don’t you DARE leave out the best part!!!” Undyne cut him off before he could rush to the ending of his spiel. “He started eating PIZZA TOPPINGS off her BODY and licked the tomato sauce from her—”

“WELL THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT.”

“NO, she’s gotta know about what else you said! How you woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep because of the THINGS she said to you! How she was like PUTTY in your hands!!!”

Everyone shut the fuck up as soon as you heard the bedroom door open from down the hall. Some of the kids wandered out because they wanted something to drink.

While Toriel busied herself in the kitchen, Undyne and Alphys were whispering to each other about the dream. Undyne must’ve been going into a lot more detail, because Alphys’s expression twisted into shock. They even started doodling some…positions??? On the napkins? Trying to figure out how it would’ve looked in detail?

“He was so wound up he didn’t sleep for THREE DAYS,” Undyne whispered at you not-so quietly. “I’m pretty sure he sees your NAKED BODY every time he closes his eyes, now.”

You couldn’t put all the blame on her at this point. She was completely wasted. This was definitely not how you pictured this night going. You thought you would get together and chat about the wedding. Reminisce on the good times between them. Poke fun at how they danced around each other for so long. You didn’t expect the full attention of all your friends to be on you, specifically all about your relationship, body and choice in underwear.

At least things were calming down. Alphys and Undyne were so busy just staring at each other so intensely you were sure that the last place they wanted to be was here. Undyne might’ve been kind of a dick when she was drunk, but apparently she was also really affectionate. She switched the subject to how cute her fiancée was, bragging on and on about how much Alphys meant to her. Which, of course, prompted Papyrus to try and compete with her. It was a battle he just couldn’t win.

“Excuse me. I am going to check on the children. They have been far too quiet.” Toriel placed the napkin from her lap on the table and left. No one seemed to notice.

You sighed in exasperation and thumbed your drink, the condensation a welcome feeling against your finger. Just cold enough that it calmed your otherwise flushed face. You were about to spell your name against it when something brushed up against your leg.

You jumped in your seat and glanced over at Papyrus. He was still passionately arguing with Undyne and the both of them were completely engrossed in…oh man. They were battling with how many photos the other one had on their phones. Dorks.

Agh! It happened again! You cringed at the suddenness and shot a look at Sans.

His grin said it all: he was the culprit.

You tried to shove his hand away from your thigh. He didn’t budge. He ran it along the tender skin there and traced shapes, moving higher as the seconds ticked on. He paused just short of your panties before hooking his finger into the lace. He brought it up, let it hover midair, and then dropped it so the elastic snapped back onto your body.

“Sans.”

“what?”

“Don’t play stupid. You’re…” You swallowed your words once Alphys snuck a suspicious glance at you. There was no way in hell she was getting this out of you, so you kept your mouth shut.

You bit your lower lip and shifted in your seat, getting more uncomfortable as he went on. You couldn’t even find your voice to tell him how you really felt. Not when he shot you a look that turned your resolve to jelly.

He ghosted along the apex of your thighs and that was it. You jerked your knees high enough that the entire table was lifted from its legs, standing up abruptly and knocking the entire thing over.

Right on top of Alphys and Undyne.

You were going to fucking murder your boyfriend.

Sans lost it. He couldn’t stop laughing. He was _wheezing_ with how hard he was going. Papyrus looked downright crushed that this had happened. He had such high expectations for the dinner going without incident, and you knew that there was a small glimmer of hope that sparked back to life once he and Undyne moved away from the sex dream subject. Toriel already had a roll of paper towels waiting to clean up the mess, whereas the two of them…

They were completely emotionless.

You were such a fuckup. You opened your mouth to apologize, to tell them that you would do _anything_ to make it right, but it was no use. Because Undyne ran her finger along the massive slop that landed on her cheek, popped it in her mouth, and got the most wicked look on her face.

“Fufufufufu…so this is what it comes down to, huh? You think you can best me?” She grabbed the bowl that crashed near her feet, the spoon falling to the floor with a clatter. “You’ll never win. Not against UNDYNE THE UNDYING!!!”

What the fuck kind of nickname was that? You didn’t have time to ask her, because she just lobbed a biscuit slathered with gravy at your face.

You let out a cry of disgust as it smeared across skin, leaving thick, gooey trails down its wake. She…she threw it at you! On purpose!

“STOP! I AM NOT CLEANING THIS UP IF YOU CONTINUE!”

“Sh-shove it!” Alphys cried, flinging a spoonful of jelly at him.

“GAAHHHKKK!” Papyrus scabbed at his face and tried to wipe it off, only to make it worse. It seeped into his joints. “ALPHYS WHY. WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME???”

You needed to get the hell out of here. This place had turned into a battle zone. Undyne had grabbed the table and angled it toward her end, using it as cover while she cackled and tossed everything she could our way. Toriel had apparently joined their team because “otherwise it would not be even”, which was just BULLSHIT. You scrambled for the couch and hid behind it, narrowly avoiding a cup full of cold water splashing against you.

“Whoa, is this a food fight?!”

“Neat! I’m on Mom’s side!!!”

“Ha! You’ll never win, spaz!”

Aaaaand now it looked like the kids had joined in. You watched Locques crawl toward you on his belly, determined in the way he propelled himself forward despite the barrage of condiments. He was too cute. With the last ounce of his strength he plopped next to you, extending a hand. You took the piece of gum he offered and popped it into your mouth.

“Locques, I need you to distract the others while I make a break for the bathroom.” You weren’t going to let them ruin the outfit that Sans bought you. “You ready?”

He nodded and stood up, running for the center of the room with his arms spread wide. Accepting full punishment with nothing in return. What a good kid.

Undyne was ruthless. She went after him almost immediately, her cackles reverberating through the whole house. In the midst of her terror you saw your chance and took it.

“GET BACK HERE, PUNK!”

You avoided the dollop of icing she lobbed at you and jumped headfirst into the bathroom.

“OW.”

“Oh my gosh, Paps, I am SO sorry.” You gazed down at him in horror. He must’ve run in here to hide, too, and you just barreled into him without any warning. Now you were on top of him. Completely. Your full weight. While he stared up at you with a conflicted expression. “Am I…squishing you?”

He chuckled weakly. “YOU NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. YOU ARE FAR TOO DELICATE TO INCONVENIENCE ME. MY BULGING MUSCLES ARE USED TO MUCH MORE STRAIN.”

He didn’t bother mentioning how you did just that about five seconds ago. “Ugh, guess great minds think alike.” You pulled yourself away from him and tried to regain your balance. Why did you agree to wear heels inside the house, again? You kicked your shoes off and placed them near the toilet, heading to the sink. “Want me to clean you up?”

“THAT IS NOT NECESSARY, I HAD JUST FINISHED WHEN YOU WALKED IN.” He looked uncomfortable. “I AM GOING BACK OUT THERE. I NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. IF UNDYNE DOES NOT SUBMIT, THEN WE MAY HAVE TO PUT HER IN TIME OUT.”

He attempted to get to the door, but it was a pretty small room. A half-bathroom just for guests, located in the tiniest part of the house. Both of you in there, a six-and-a-half-foot skeleton and a full grown human? You could barely shift around each other without being completely pinned to the sink.

“AH, IF YOU COULD JUST MOVE YOUR ARM?”

“Like this?”

“NOT QUITE. OH. UM…MAYBE IF WE TWIST THIS?”

“Papyrus, I don’t bend that way?”

“WHOOPSIE-DOOPSIE. I FORGOT.”

He managed to maneuver so that he was in front of the door, but he took one step and you let out a cry of pain.

“WHAT? WHAT IS IT?”

“I-I think my hair is tangled. In your…bones.”

“ARE YOU HURT??? DO YOU NEED ME TO CALL FOR HELP?!”

“No! It’s fine. I just. I need to figure out where it got wrapped around.” You gestured for him to come back to you, your bodies now flush together. “Hmm, I think it’s here. But…I can’t really see.” If he made any kind of sudden move, he would’ve yanked you hard enough to send you into a fit. “It’s up to you. How can we get out of this?”

He stepped backwards and turned around in a circle. Now you had your back turned toward him as he pinned you against the wall. This was where you’d gotten wrapped around him, so it was the only angle that he could find the source and get rid of the tangle.

“GIVE ME ONE MORE MOMENT. I THINK I ALMOST HAVE IT!”

The door slammed open. You craned your neck to see who it was.

Toriel’s eyes widened as soon as she caught sight of you. She just. Stood there. Paw on the handle. Her mouth slowly dropping open. Her expression confused the hell out of you until you realized how this must’ve looked.

Your backside pressed up against Papyrus’s crotch. You against the wall. Him with a fistful of your hair.

Fucking. Someone just….kill you.

“Oh, I am very sorry!” Toriel didn’t seem very apologetic. In fact, she was downright smug. Once the initial shock faded, she had never looked so alive. “I had no idea you two had taken my advice to heart! Well, please do not let me keep you!”

“TORI, it’s not what you think!” you cried.

Papyrus went limp against you. He had…passed out of embarrassment. Standing up. With his full weight resting on you, his strong grip still holding you in place, You had absolutely no way to shift out of the position to get your point across. You wriggled against him and it did nothing to help your explanation, because it just looked lewd as hell.

“I am happy you two are comfortable with this, but please remember there are children in the house. Perhaps you would like us to leave so you can continue?”

“No!”

“HEY TORIEL! What’s going on? You give up already?!” You heard Undyne’s signature stomp and your blood ran cold. She was going to come in here and see this. She would take pictures. She would never let you live this down. She would call every single person in the house and have everyone stare like you were some sort of sideshow attraction.

Papyrus stirred just enough and you made your move. You grabbed the roots of your hair and yanked it out of his bones. Luckily for you he had it nearly out, so you didn’t do any lasting damage. But you were able to turn around on your own, put your hands on his shoulders, and guide him away from you to rest on the wall by himself.

“IcameinheretohideandIgotmyhairstuckinhisbonessohewasjusthelpingmegetitout!” You cried all in one breath.

Toriel smirked at you. “Oh, I know. I just like to tease you.” She turned heel and paused before she could walk completely away. “I almost forgot! I have something to give to you!”

The soggy steamed carrot hit you in the cheek and dropped down into your cleavage.

You managed to wait just long enough for Papyrus to regain consciousness. A little bit of cold water and coaxing did the trick, although he was still mortified at what happened. With Toriel out of sight and the memory far past you, you ended up breaking into laughter. He followed suit. It was all just so ridiculous. All of it. How things went downhill from the very beginning? You never had a chance for a normal, boring dinner.

“I AM SORRY I DID NOT CONFIDE IN YOU ABOUT MY DREAM.”

“You don’t have to be sorry about anything. It happens. And you were just trying to talk to someone about it. It’s not your fault Undyne can’t keep her mouth shut.”

“STILL. IT WAS JUST…OVERWHELMING.”

“I know. You’re not alone in that, though. And it’s totally normal.”

Papyrus reached down for your hand. “SO…DOES THAT MEAN YOU…HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS ABOUT ME AS WELL?”

“Um, yeah.” You weren’t going to lie to him. “Of course I do.”

“OH.” He scratched his cheek and beamed at you. “THAT MAKES ME FEEL…BETTER.”

“C’mon, let’s go back out there. Damage control.”

“WITH YOU AT MY SIDE, THEY HAVE NO CHANCE!”

They really didn’t.

Papyrus took everyone off guard as he summoned his magic to do the trick. Slowing their SOULs as they realized what was going on, their actions coming to a stop. 

He trapped the kids in a very safe and squishy cage, using stuffed bones instead so they wouldn’t break out. Whenever they tried to ram against it, the bars just squeaked at them in protest and pushed them backwards stubbornly. Toriel chuckled in the corner and let you catch her, whereas Alphys was just tired of rubbing various foodstuffs off her glasses and gave up. Undyne, on the other hand, tried to put up a fight – until the liquor caught up with her and she slumped down in defeat, her magic sapped entirely from both the booze and dehydration. Sans still sat at the table, eating his soup, not a speck of anything on him. How did he even…? You didn’t want to know.

“NOW ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME CLEAN THIS UP.”

“I-I don’t know if I can move,” Alphys admitted, her chest heaving. “T-that took a lot out of me.”

He frowned and grabbed Undyne by the collar of her shirt. “WAKEY WAKEY, UNDYNE!!! YOU ARE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS ONE SO FAST!”

“Nnnnggaaaahhhhh,” she responded weakly. She squinted at him.

“Let’s get the kids cleaned up.” You approached them as the bones disappeared. “Paps, you try to get everyone else on board for picking up this mess.”

“WILL DO, DATEMATE.”

Locques, Ebby, Daury and Fram all prepared to follow you down the hall back to their room.

“Did Pappy just call you ‘datemate’?”

“OH, YES!!! IT IS BECAUSE SHE IS MY GIRLFRIEND.”

Their faces lit up. “Ohhhh. Cool!!!”

“What about Sansh?” Daury asked, troubled. He was her favorite.

He leaned back on the chair, balancing on the back legs. “she’s datin’ me, too.”

“Wow!!! I didn’t know you could have more than one boyfriend! I want four!”

You snorted with laughter. “Why four?”

“So I can have one for every season when the others are working! They’re gonna be an astronaut, a lion tamer, a superhero, and a ballerina!”

“I like her with Pappy more!”

“No! Sansh, Sansh!!!”

Locques pouted from the corner of your eye. Oh boy. You must’ve forgotten to tell him about that. He always said he was your number one, and hearing that the skelebros were spending more time with you was sure to upset him. You would have to talk with him in private one of these days.

Because you were super awesome and totally dodgy, you got out of cleaning duty. Hell yes. Papyrus managed to get Undyne up and moving with more water for her to chug down, and at one point you were pretty sure he shoved her in the shower to sober her up. Alphys’s stomach finally settled enough for her to move around the food without getting sick. And Toriel, good-natured as always, fair and kind, did her part in picking up what she tossed around. You weren’t sure about Sans, because he was going to give everyone a hard time if he was expected to pitch in.

Things were spotless by the time it was ready for everyone to go. Undyne and Papyrus had gotten into a cleaning match and competed in who could mop up the most of the mess, which was…honestly hilarious. You wished you could’ve seen it.

You and Alphys sat on the couch. Undyne and Papyrus were arm-wrestling on the dining room table, clearly enjoying themselves as the energy wound down. Sans sat in the corner pouring over some astrophysics book. What a nerd.

“T-thanks for doing this. It means a lot.” Alphys looked down at her hands. “Back Underground, U-Undyne was my only friend. A-and I guess Mettaton. But now we have everything. And it means a lot that…w-we can be ourselves with all of you.”

You leaned into her, a bright smile creeping on your face. “Yeah, I love you too, Aly.”

“HEY! Are you confessing your love to my fiancée over there, punk?!”

“HA!!! DEFEAT! YOU SHOULD NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN, UNDYNE.”

“Would anyone like some tea?”

“Ooh, ooh! Me!”

“Shut up, Mom wasn’t asking you!”

“Stop fighting!”

“….I do…”

“no _brew_ -din’, kiddos. just wait your turn.”

You glanced around the room and sighed. Well. Another night of horrible, embarrassing memories to cherish for the rest of your lives.

And you couldn’t be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> like my fics? want to support me? [**donate somethin'!**](https://ko-fi.com/A258IM)
> 
> **question of the day** : how are you going to get back at the skelebros for this disaster?


End file.
